Friday Wrap: Missiles. Madness. And Humor.

Week 1 is over......a snapshot of life under missile and drone attack

This week’s wrap is meant to give you a peek into real life in Israel during a war.

Here goes.

I am not a morning person. So when I stirred at 8:12 am Saturday morning, February 28, my plan was to roll over and continue sleeping. One minute later the first of a succession of impossible-to-ignore Home Front Command alarms killed the dream. It was happening. Finally.

Within seconds, my daughter called. She lives in central Israel which was likely to be the hardest hit in the days to come. Her partner had already been called up to reserve duty. “Can you come get me?” she asked. My heart said yes, immediately, but my head told me to confirm that it wasn’t a crazy idea.

So I contacted my friend, Jonathan Conricus, who is known to State of Tel Aviv and Beyond subscribers as one of the foremost pundits and military analysts in and on Israel and the Middle East.

His advice had me out the door in no time. Conricus said the magic words: “If it was my kid I’d go.” He then followed up with simple, practical advice; the kind of things we all know but when you’re functioning on high adrenaline, as I was in that moment, hearing it all stated clearly and calmly is reassuring.

I live in southern Israel. It is quite isolated and safe. Not even the Islamic Republic of Iran would want to waste ballistic missiles or drones on our sparsely populated area of the country.

Traffic was light but purposeful. Everyone was going somewhere. Fast. Minimum speeds were 140 km/hr. I was making a mad dash to Tel Aviv based on the sensible assumption that Central Israel would be battered in the coming days. It was. Living in a safe room or public shelter is no picnic.

I was low on gas but wanted to get to my kid as quickly as possible. Five minutes can make all the difference in these crazy situations. A missile lands and roads are blocked. A million variables are at play. That happened so many times on October 7. People were on their way to save someone and suddenly could go no further.

I kept the radio on to ensure that I would receive any siren notifications. In Israel, alerts override all TV and radio stations as well as cell phones in the impacted area (depends on one’s cell phone settings).

Laser focused, I made it in record time. In the parking lot outside her building young families were loading up their cars and heading somewhere. Most Israelis have bags packed and ready to go during periods of high tension. What do you pack if you may be displaced for a week? A month?

Water. A change of clothing. Basic hygiene supplies. Anti-bacterial wipes. Dry food with energy and vitamins. A pillow. A blanket. Any prescriptions or medicines. Phone. Charger. Extra battery packs. Lights with built-in batteries.

We drove straight to a gas station to fill up and grab coffee. More sirens. We ran to the shelter. It doubles as a food storage area. (Gas stations in Israel are legendary. Mini markets where you can buy almost anything.) The shelter was filled with young families getting out of town. Moms and dads turning this crazy moment into an adventure. Kids smiling. Here’s an audio recording of the chatter in the room…..that’s me musing aloud about taking popcorn.

It’s good-natured banter….one young woman comments on the fact that we could be stuck in worse places. At least we have lots to eat. People talk about where they live, where they’re going and how long we think we’ll have to stay in this place.

As we exited the gas station we drove by a man standing around waiting for his EV to charge. Note to self: Another reason not to buy anything but a hybrid. Imagine sitting around in a war with incoming missiles waiting for your car to charge.

We drove on.

A few minutes later there were more sirens. We pulled over twice more during what would usually be a one hour drive on a Saturday morning. My daughter is a rule-follower. I’m thinking…..let’s keep it kinetic. If we drive, then maybe we’ll just be ahead of the missile. Or behind. But the real danger (as I know and she reminds me) in these situations is the shrapnel, which can take longer to make it to earth than the downed missile. Something to do with smaller pieces and the law of gravity. If you leave the shelter before Home Front Command directs you to do so you risk being hit by flying shrapnel.

If the siren wails while you’re on the road, the protocol is that you put on your hazard lights and pull over to the side safely and quickly. Ideally, windows are rolled down so that if there is a blast nearby, they won’t shatter. (The windshield? Can’t do much about that.) Lie face down on the ground and cover your head with your hands. If you have a blanket in the car lie on that. Place yourself on the ground near the car engine. It is heavier than the passenger compartment or rear of the car (unless, of course, you drive a Porsche or some models of Lamborghini, I understand) and will therefore absorb the impact of any falling shrapnel, minimizing injury to you.

At our third alarm break at the side of the road we were directed by people already there to a solid shelter in what looked like a disused industrial area. It was a quick dash of a few hundred feet. Again, young families were running. They had parked in the gas station nearby. I left my car a little further away, thinking that if a missile hits a gas station my car will be totaled. I mean, it’s all luck. We know that. But everyone does quirky things in moments like this. I think it’s our way of trying to feel that we have some control.

We had about 45 seconds to get to safety. Think that through.

Before walking through the narrow opening to the bare concrete shelter I turned around to see four parents running and carrying toddlers. I let them pass and go inside first. I cannot imagine the anxiety they feel. Again, once inside, we all focus on the kids. They’re cute. In their pajamas. It’s kind of an adventure for them. We all banter “cheerfully”. A reserve soldier is with us in the shelter - he is quite senior in the IDF – you can tell by his lapel rank. He kind of takes charge and stands at the entrance, only allowing us to exit when we get the “all clear” from Home Front Command.

My daughter snapped a photo inside the shelter. A second time, I recorded audio inside the shelter.

You can hear the sirens and intercepts in the recording, nonstop. There are two loud intercepts at 00:42 and 00:51. We were all startled. They were close and loud. Everyone in the shelter kept things light – to preoccupy and distract the kids.

But this is not normal. They know that.

When we exited my daughter got a seven second clip of a series of F 15s that had just taken off and flew overhead. Eastward. They were on their way to a mission in Iran. This clip could be anywhere…it just shows a beautiful big bird and open sky.

We are under very clear guidelines from the military and Home Front Command not to post any operationally related information or images that could help the Iranians target more accurately. In June, there were many issues with international media and individuals posting clips on social media. One American MSM reporter was heavily criticized – deservedly so – for disclosing in his video dispatches on a television station with a global audience information that compromised the safety of Israeli civilians. This time around he is being respectful, thus far, as is pretty much all the international media.

When you emerge from a shelter into the light, with so many young families, small children, and look up and see this….It sends shivers up and down your spine.

From there it was smooth sailing.

Once we arrived back at my place in the south all was quiet. But not in the center of Israel. Or in the north. Multiple sirens and alerts wailed through the day and night.

Within minutes of arriving at home I received a message from the IDF spokesperson Lt. Col. Nadav Shoshani regarding a briefing – 11:45 am. I was on with about 150 other journalists worldwide. Very informative. This was in the earliest stages of the war. We didn’t know what was going on other than that we were at war.

I next had the good fortune to nail Lt. Col. Conricus for a quick podcast interview. Of course, I forgot to hit “record” to get the visual recording. That oversight turned out to be a blessing. It is much quicker to edit and publish audio only. My daughter filled in for my usual editor who does not work or go online on shabbat. And I now realize she can do so much more than I’d imagined!!!! We jammed it out together and only then – did I have another cup of coffee. Sat down. Ate something. Early afternoon Saturday.

I received many notes from well-wishers – which are always appreciated. It makes a difference to hear from people at times like this. Thank you.

For the rest of this dispatch I will share random odds and sods…..and we also include quite a few fabulous social media posts. This country never loses its sense of humor. Or purpose. The video post of a wedding in an underground parking lot – with the bride’s family that had flown in from Argentina for the joyous occasion – well, that one just broke me.

Humor Highlights from Social Media

OK – Here you go. Mirth, joy, heartbreak – a sampling of some of the best bits of Israeli humor and life from this past week. The first two Hebrew language posts are subtitled by the magnificent Maya Naftolin.

The Wedding

This wedding took place at level -4 in the underground parking lot of Dizengoff Center - a massive mall complex in central Tel Aviv, which doubles as a bomb shelter these days. Makes you weep. Makes you smile. Makes you crazy with emotion.

Credit: Channel 12 News

Dress Up Time

This next clip is a clever riff on Purim - the Jewish holiday that fell on Tuesday March 3 this year - as much of the country was being hammered by missiles. Purim celebrates an event that occurred 2,500 years ago - for real - in ancient Persia. A royal decree ordered the murder of all Jews. They were saved by a series of twists and turns and, in the end, their enemies were destroyed. There is a deep meaning to this holiday, of course. If you’d like to know more about it then listen to our podcast on this topic here.

We dress up in costume on Purim - which is why it’s so Hallowe’enish in the clip. (Again - dip into the Purim pod to understand why.)

In this Tel Aviv bomb shelter (which looks like it’s in a typical older, small, low-rise building) the Jews were condemned by a decree from the fanatical ruler of modern day Persia - the Islamic Republic of Iran. Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was obsessed with destroying Israel and killing all Jews.

So - that’s the context.

This clip is a hoot. Props to Hadar Shaish, who has made this video and many more. Yes - it is subtitled in English. Hadar’s insta handle is below:

Instagram: @shaish_hadar

Flip vs Smart Phone

I love this one. A bomb shelter in what is clearly a family building. Not sure where. No one can get a signal on their cell phone. Bomb shelters are built with very thick, reinforced walls and roofs. So - who is able to call the Home Front Command to confirm that they have the “all clear” to leave the shelter in their area? Why - the 90-year-old woman with the Nokia flip phone. The smart aleck narrating refers to her as a “tatzpitanit”….a female soldier in the IDF with the job of knowing every detail of what is going on in the surrounding area.

Instagram: @AviaFarhi

Subtitles: Yael Bar Tur

What Else? In no particular order:

Because there was just so much going on, I was unaware until a day or two later of President Trump’s address at 3 am ET on Saturday February 28 – short, sharp, wartime leadership. His main audience was Americans – explaining why this war was so important and necessary. He also addressed the Iranian people directly. Stay indoors. Safe. I’m keeping my promise to you. This will be your opportunity to take back your country.

If you missed this this speech, you and watch it here. Hate him or love him – this 8-minute clip is an important moment in history:

What Trump and Netanyahu have done takes extraordinary courage. Planning. Tenacity. Leadership. Brilliance. Let it be said and recognized.

They have changed the course of western civilization in an epic way and for the better. It is sad that much of the west will choose to savage them for having done so.

As Trump states: If the people of Iran take the reins of power they can restore their nation to greatness.

In my opinion, this event is geopolitically seismic. The most significant single event since WWII. Should it end well. If Iran is liberated from theocratic tyranny and some degree of liberal freedom is restored, it will also reorder the matrix of global power, diminishing the influence of China and Russia. I believe that is a good thing.

Iran is a cornered, desperate beast.

Several weeks ago, I wrote that if attacked by America and Israel, Iran would counterattack wildly. Because they know that they are going down. And they will take as many infidels as possible with them – particularly Jews. The Iranian regime is fanatical. Jihadist.

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Early in the week - I did this interview with Canadian journalist, Brian Lilley. He also includes discussions in this episode with Former American Ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton, and Retired Canadian General, Rick Hillier, who also served as Chief of Canadian Defence staff. Here is a clip from my interview:

Click here to watch the full interview on Brian Lilley’s Substack.

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My column, below, was published in the National Post on March 2. We’ve set out the first few paragraphs:

On Saturday morning, sirens wailed throughout Israel at 8:13 am. Once they had everyone’s attention The Home Front Command issued an alert that overrides all media and cell phone settings. The written notice is preceded by a horrible, piercing sound that could pierce cement, reminding 10-million people to follow directions from official channels only.

The long-anticipated war with Iran had begun.

We learned later that in the first minute of the initial air attack on Iran, 40 of the most senior members of the regime leadership were killed in multiple locations. Among those felled in those initial 60 seconds was Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

American and Israeli forces had been planning this tightly choreographed attack for months. The intelligence gathering was possibly one of the most complex operations ever, drawing on decades of field preparation and cultivation of “assets,” as human agents are called in that line of work. We also know now that last minute information received by the CIA caused the tightly coordinated militaries to adjust the time of the opening attack.

Surprise is the most critical aspect of the beginning of war. The first air attacks involved approximately 200 combat aircraft flying more than a thousand kilometres from Israel and other bases in the region to Iran. Refuelling was done in the air. On Friday, after an email sent to Embassy staff by U.S. Ambassador to Israel, Mike Huckabee, was “leaked,” it was clear that war was imminent. Huckabee urged anyone wanting to leave Israel to do so that day, as there may be no commercial flights from Saturday.

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In closing – I did make the amazing olive oil lemon squares. Huge hit. But I simply do not have time to include the recipe this week – I have to write down my modifications. But here’s a photo. Beyond intense. The flavor.

Black bits are volcanic salt flakes (seriously) and dried blueberries.

Have a restorative weekend. Shabbat shalom. I’m signing off for a few days.